Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Sext me about skeletons
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
