That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
