I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
