Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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