Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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