the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
