we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
