But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
