i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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