When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
