check it out our google latitudes are spooning
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
