My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
