READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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