I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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