i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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