i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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