One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
