Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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