he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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