What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
