hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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