I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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