butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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