i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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