I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
