so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
