I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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