Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
