she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
