yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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