don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
