it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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