I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
