a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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