That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
