Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
