I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
