Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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