Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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