1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
hell yes lets make some ravioli
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
