On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
