Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
