Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
