Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
