you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You ate ashes out of my bong
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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