Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
