the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
