your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Are we still banned from the library?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
