doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
