around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
