Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
