so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
