I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
