He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We are two peas in an std pod
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
