she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
