let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
